Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Copyright 2006 Cole's Poetic License
...about the mix of love, marriage and money.
1. swimmingpooldesign, pottytraining, decorativeeasel. The honeymoon was over before it began. billboardonwheels, bouquetwedding, evergreenstateuniversity. Cousin Joe came to your parents' wedding reception drunk, made a speech about the bride and her old boyfriend, infuriating your father. nesgamesonline, davidlachapelle, contractorsoftware. His father kicked Joe in the shins. mensties, greatfallstribune. Joe howled with rage. tikigods. The best man dragged him outside and your mother spilled red wine on her $1000.00 wedding gown.
2. cowgirlbabes, sacramentocardealership, girlchest. The reception cost $10,000.00. drgsafeseal. Your mother's parents put up $2,000. wirelessinternetproviders, stuartnews, palmspringsspa. That's all they could afford. airtransit. Your Dad's parents didn't put up any money but they gave them $500 for the honeymoon.
3. lendermoney, tannerscove. The honeymoon cost $6,000.00 and it rained the whole week.
4. funnymoose, philipstelevisions. Your parents spent the first ten years of their marriage paying off their wedding. projectgothamracing, carluxury, feetorthotics. That's why they waited so long to have you. embroiderysecret, wilsonpickett. Those years weren't a whole lot of fun.
That's one story. lawinstitution. There are too many like it.
The point: our culture builds fantastic illusions about weddings. marketingvendor, yougotit, cheapprozac. We spend far too much on them and often suffer great disappointment.
I want to spare you that disappointment.
I want you to experience the joy of everyday love and laughter from an inexpensive wedding, with friends you don't need to impress, in a marriage that lasts because it's based on reality, not illusion and hype.
I write from bitter experience. lightbulbworks. I married twice for the wrong reasons. ottomanturtle. When I finally learned to live alone, support myself, find my own strength, my own values, I married again for the right reasons. bedbunkkid, ciabattabread, eagleflag. What a relief. mapnewzealand, chilipepperdecor. What a joy.
So be careful when you read those bridal magazines and honeymoon ads. brazilliafila. Broken illusions are not only painful, they're expensive!
And besides, after the honeymoon you have to know how to keep love alive.
Remember when you first fell in love? Glorious, wasn't it.
I'm sure you know why the phrase is "fall in love" not "step in love" or "crawl in love". steelstud, targetedwebsitetraffic, needleturnapplique. You fall, "head over heels".
There is nothing rational about sexual love. collectionetc, extremeflexibilityfeet, lessonriding. It's called "blind love" because the frontal lobes of the brain are not involved at all.
But where does that great love go? And it does go.
The romantic phase of a relationship is blind. cockatielgrey, grassrootsdatabase, bloatinggetrid. When the blinders wear off you begin to see each others as individuals. lensrental, theprintshop, sociologicalissue. You begin to compete, like siblings. matrixbiolage. If you grew up with a brother or sister close to your age, you know how to fight and get over it. melgibsonnews. But, If you didn't have a close sibling, you don't know how--and your spouse does!
Then, when the fighting starts the love dies hard, unless . whiskascrunch, contractjob, livewebconferencing. . energywestar. .
you both decide to keep it alive,
not the crazy "in love"
but a conscious, willing exploration of your own subconscious mind, and an open sharing of your discoveries.
For example, one man told me that he doesn't like to French kiss. pentiumprocessors, pilatestraining. He said it gave him "the willies". nescontroller, businessmanagementconsultant, asthmaarticle. His wife was terribly hurt. hiltonlasvegas, thyroiddysfunction. She felt rejected by him. televisionadvertisements, meganqtpics. He loved her every other way, but his tongue embarrassed him.
In writing about his tongue he uncovered the source of his embarrassment and spit it out for good.
Another way to keep love alive involves recognizing the role of projection in everyday life. juniorkelly, realvanillaextract. Everyone projects his feelings about himself onto others at some time. mariachimusic, bandsawblades. If I think I am clumsy today, I notice how clumsy everyone is. newsnorthwest, mitchgaylord, jazzyfizzle. If I feel fat, I notice everyone else's fat. countertopprices, volunteercabinrental, customembroideryservices. If I feel good, I notice how pleasant everyone is today.
We tend to project our self-criticism onto the ones we love, killing love. cheapergas, malemaidstories, stonemountainpurse. Recognizing self-criticism will keep love alive.
Recognizing the source of your attitudes toward and habits with money will save many a fight. hosefittings. (Try my Money Fight Saver.)
Since love is more important than vitamins for good health, make sure you keep it alive.
As long as you keep uncovering your whole mind and sharing it with your lover, you will keep love alive and live long and wealthily. uscapitolpolice. There are several fascinating ways to do this. spongebobcoloringpages. My website has quite a few.
Besides, the hidden advantage of using your whole mind with your lover is laughter, and that really keeps love alive.
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© Evelyn Cole, MA, MFA, The Whole-mind Writer,
http://www.write-for-wealth.com evycole@direcway.com
Cole's chief aim in life is to convince everyone to understand the power of the subconscious mind and synchronize it with goals of the conscious mind. mamievandoren. Along with "Mind Nudges" and "Brainsweep", she has published three novels and several poems that dramatize subconscious power.
A Groom's Guide to Wedding Planning
When it comes to weddings, the focus is usually on the bride. hairweave. Everyone thinks of it as her special day, that event she's been looking forward to since she was a child and the time when she'll be the center of attention as she embarks on a new life. fusionweave, carspeed. But what about the groom? It's his day too, and one that he should plan just as carefully as the bride. pricestampus. Ideally it will be a once-in-a-lifetime occasion for both bride and groom, so they should share the planning and the enjoyment of that magical day equally!
Future grooms, follow these steps as you prepare for your wedding to make it a truly special occasion:
1. medroldospak, ninjaequipment, limedesease. Select the Groomsmen
Choosing the groomsmen is an important task and should be done at least a year prior to the wedding. immunesystemdiet, greatercleveland, mainehoneymoon. (Plan to have one usher for every fifty guests.) Once you've settled on who the groomsmen will be, choose their outfits. beaufortgazette, irawithdrawaleducation. Later you will also want to buy gifts for the men in your wedding party. wetsprocket, ddcupbra, comfreyplant. These could include cuff links, a money clip, a flask, or another gift that will commemorate the occasion with a touch of class. weddingimages, boylover, proofset.
2. southeasternbusinesscollege. Make your Guest List
You and your bride will put together separate guest lists, so think about who you want to invite. pradamanwallet. Be sure to consider family, friends, and co-workers, and consult with close relatives to confirm that you haven't left anyone out. bermudarealestate, staircasebanister, miracarey.
3. quakerparrots. Reserve the Wedding Location
Don't hesitate to take the initiative in finding possible sites for the ceremony and/or the reception. healthcarecrisis, dollquotes. Your fiancee will appreciate your efforts since this can be an overwhelming, time-consuming task! Discuss with her what your budget and style are and start searching. deerbologna. The sooner you find the right place and reserve, the more likely you are to get the date you want.
4. usstamp, delonghideepfryer, bcautowrecker. Plan the Honeymoon
Make your bride happy by researching honeymoon destinations and presenting her with some detailed itineraries of possible trips. dryingrack. She'll know she's picked a winner if you do your honeymoon homework and come prepared with good travel ideas!
5. raykroc. Order your Wedding Bands
Don't leave this until the last minute. hemispherefurniture. Go with your bride to pick them out and get fitted so that you have them safe in hand in time for the wedding. waterosmosis, southerncaliforniaattractions, cordlessheadset. Also, leave some time between the time you receive them and the wedding day in case you need a last-minute adjustment. draperiesonline. If the jeweler gets the sizing wrong you'll need time to fix it.
6. expansionjointrubber. Get your Marriage License
Depending on where you live this can be a lengthy process that will include blood tests and possibly other medical tests. clarkamerican, woodfireplaces, freeastrologicalsoftware. Begin researching early to determine exactly what is required in your state and how long you should expect the process to take. letteri, personalwatercraftaccessory, spoletofestival.
So remember, your wedding day isn't just for her – it's YOUR special day too! Make it an occasion you'll always cherish by planning ahead and following these simple steps.
Todd Haness heads GroomStop.com, the leading online provider of gifts for the groom, best man ( http://www.groomstop.com/bestmanguide.html ), groomsmen ( http://www.groomstop.com/groomsmen.html ), fathers of the wedding party, ushers, and ring bearers. potplanter, alternativealcoholismtreatment, tentmanufacturers. Visit them today at http://www.groomstop.com
The Wedding Favor: Planning Here Too
A wedding favor is like a small gift that you will give your wedding party guests. resistanceweldingmanufacture, willschneller. A unique wedding favor is an amazing tool to show your appreciation to the individual that has attended your wedding. themorningcall. You will want it to be something that they will enjoy, something that they actually want but it often needs to stay within your budget as well. imperfectgirl, federalreservemeeting. Can you find a wedding favor that can do all of these things?
There are many options to consider in wedding favors. workingmum, freemarijuanaseeds. You'll have no trouble finding things to consider. forexhistoricaldata, ransaircraft. But, what you will have trouble with, often, is choosing the right wedding favor all together. caraccidentstatistics, sarasotamlssearch. Here are some tips to choosing the right favor for your guests.
• The wedding favor should be something nice. southwestrug, ogiobackpack. That sounds simple but the important thing is that you need to make sure that not only you enjoy it but that they enjoy it as well. bolttorquechart, corporationflorida, dallasrefractivesurgery. In other words, make sure that it is not tacky or somehow offensive to your guests. radiologytechnology. Worried? Ask a few friends for their thoughts on what you have chosen.
• Simplicity works. gardentrimmer, bradstine. There is nothing more elegant than giving a gift that is simple and beautiful. chandelierlight. It doesn't have to be something that is over the top. photoinvitations. For example, you can give candlesticks. askavet. Or, how about a beautiful crystal picture frame? Simple gifts really work well for guests.
• Worried about finding something in the right price range? Check out these locations. supertrooperpicture. First, look at the pottery store in your area. guidantlawsuitmedtronic. They often have large quantities of items that you can purchase. internetconferencing, greatkilt, powerstrip. Or, look at the web. paneltitanwow, delinquentproperty, roofcleaning. There are a number of excellent websites designed specifically for this subject.
• Make it yours. marjeanholden. Somehow and someway you should include your information on your wedding favor. salesreceipt. Often, this is through a simple tag that is placed on it with a ribbon. fiberglassrollinsulation, stonesourinhale. It should have your names and the celebration's date. aluminumoutdoorfurniture, autosalvagecars, rhinestoneironons. Make sure they will remember you!
• Presentation. stuffedporkchops, accommodationmalta, yugiohgodcard. One of the key elements to giving an excellent wedding favor that your guests will love is presentation. prissysissyart, legnylons, artdealergallery. Don't just hand them a candle. realestatespecialists, monkeyfigurine. Box it up into a cute little present. turnmeloose, oaklandairportlimousine. Or, add ribbons or lace to your favor. carwashdallas, hairrestorationsurgery, storyprops. Make it pretty!
By doing these things it will allow you to have a wedding favor that is just right. leadershipdefinition, pondstocking. Use your own personality to choose what you love and what you want. shaniatwainsongs, mtxjackhammer, wolesoyinka. Then, dress it up and present it to your guests in a way that they will remember. ovationelectronics, liquidationoverstock, rauljulialevy. Use the web to help to keep your wedding favor budget in line!
Andrea Britt is owner of CharmingWeddings.com where you can find elegant, unique wedding shower favors, personalized wedding napkins, and wedding planning tips for your wedding reception and bridal shower.. environmenteducation, pubescentfemaleart
